Big Ben to the Andromeda Galaxy, the UK’s leading parcel comparison site reveals the ultimate shipping challenge – and why their stork would need a long holiday
BOLTON, GREATER MANCHESTER, UNITED KINGDOM, May 1, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ — Bolton, 4th May 2025 – In a galaxy not so far away – Bolton, to be precise – the team at Parcel2Go, the UK’s number one parcel comparison site, has been asking the questions that the world’s greatest logistics minds have been far too sensible to ask: what if we used a stork?
In honour of May the 4th – the unofficial celebration of the galaxy’s most devoted space fans – Parcel2Go has crunched the numbers on interstellar (and inter-dimensional) delivery times, calculating how long it would take a stork to carry a parcel from their Bolton headquarters to some of the universe’s most iconic – and completely unreachable – addresses.
White storks travel at an average flight speed of 40 km/h, covering roughly 360 km per day (flying a very reasonable 9-hour working day – storks have rights, too). Coordinates set, they let the maths do the talking.
“We send millions of parcels to every corner of the UK every year – but even we have to admit, our network doesn’t quite stretch to Pluto. Yet.”
– Parcel2Go spokesperson
Key Findings
• Fastest delivery: Big Ben, London – just 0.78 days. Effectively next-day delivery. Our stork barely needs a packed lunch.
• Most dramatic failure: The Mariana Trench – 78 days of flying to reach the surface above it, at which point the stork can confirm that delivery was attempted. Storks do not dive. Parcel left at sea level.
• Most obscure address: Narnia, accessed via wardrobe portal (Oxford). Distance calculated from portal entry point to Cair Paravel. Estimated delivery: 2.8 days. Interdimensional surcharge applies.
• Longest delivery: The Andromeda Galaxy – approximately 73 trillion years. To put that in perspective, the universe is only 13.8 billion years old. Our stork would have needed to set off approximately 5,000 Big Bangs ago.
• Most ambitious: The International Space Station, orbiting at 400 km. Just over a day’s flight – but our stork will need a pressurised suit, and the recipient is advised to wait by the airlock.
What Parcel2Go Says
A spokesperson for Parcel2Go commented:
“Every May the 4th, we’re reminded that the greatest challenge in the universe isn’t defeating the dark side – it’s getting a parcel delivered on time. At Parcel2Go, we compare dozens of couriers to find our customers the fastest, most reliable delivery options available. Our stork research confirms what we’ve always suspected: when it comes to parcels, speed matters. Whether you’re shipping to London or trying your luck with Pluto, we’ve got you covered for everything this side of the Milky Way.”
Methodology
All distances are calculated as straight-line (as-the-stork-flies) measurements from Parcel2Go’s headquarters in Bolton. The following assumptions were applied:
• Stork flight speed: 40 km/h (average in-flight speed for White Stork, Ciconia ciconia – source: Birds Wiki / Fandom, corroborated by ornithological migration research)
• Daily flying hours: 9 hours/day (storks fly during daylight only, 09:00–18:00)
• Daily distance: 360 km/day (40 km/h × 9 hours)
• Real-world distances sourced from standard geographic coordinates (Big Ben, Eiffel Tower, Colosseum, Everest)
• ISS altitude: ~400 km (NASA)
• Pluto average distance from Earth: ~5.9 billion km (NASA Science)
• Andromeda Galaxy: ~2.4 × 10¹⁹ km (approx. 2.5 million light-years – NASA/ESA)
• Narnia distance estimated from Oxford (nearest confirmed wardrobe portal location) via standard Narnian cartography. Narnia is approximately 90 miles east–west. Total estimated distance to Cair Paravel: ~1,000 km. Interdimensional delays not accounted for.
• Mariana Trench delivery marked as ‘attempted’ – storks are not rated for deep-sea diving.
About Parcel2Go
Parcel2Go is the UK’s leading parcel comparison and delivery platform, helping customers find the best courier services at the best prices. Based in Bolton, Parcel2Go works with all major carriers to provide fast, reliable, and affordable shipping options for individuals and businesses across the UK and beyond – from next-door neighbours to international destinations. The galaxy beyond that is still in development.
Sophie Ashley
Parcel2go.com LTD
press@parcel2go.com
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